Digicranked
by maniakkid25
Summary: the season 4 team has a little party and things get crazy. a little humor fic I made modeled a bit after crank yankers. rated for language and mild violence small setback, final coming.
1. Chapter 1

MK25:Hello. welcome to my new fic Digi-cranked.  
Grady:You're working on two fics at once? i never knew you were a multi-tasker  
MK25:Oh please. You knew that when I tried to played video games and chat in a chat room at the same time.  
Grady:Oh yeah... that was kinda tough, talkin and playin mystic heroes.  
MK25:You bet it was!  
Furby beak:You're a little whore!  
MK25: I though I said shut up! Grady, get the hammer  
Grady:(while getting a hammer that's as big as him)hammer.  
MK25:Time to meet you maker, literally.

Max-X narrator:During the severe bashing of this beak, Grady and MK would like to say that MK does not own Digimon, Crank yankers(where he got this idea), **MAX**imum E**X**posure, which is where I came from, Cityplace, or the Furby company. but if you do sue him, you'll only get some clothes.

MK25:Damn, nearly got zapped by that thing  
Grady:We got a fic to do, so go on and start doing your thing.  
MK25:Right. let's start the laughs. you'll laugh your crack off in this chapter.

Chapter one:it's time to crank

* * *

Takuya, Koji, J.P., Zoe, Tommy, and Kouichi had all gone to Takuya's house for a little party(it's actually the anniversery of when they went to the digital world, but there parents don't know about that). They were all sitting in Takuya's room thinking of what to do. Tommy was the first to say an idea. "Why don't we do crank calls?" Tommy inquiried. It was a good idea and they had nohting better, so they stuck with that. Since it was Tommy's idea, he was up first. Tommy was switching glances from dialing and the phone book. As he finished dialing, a young woman with a thin asian accent picked it up. "Hello?" she asked the caller.

"Hello, do you have the pu-pu platter?" Tommy inquiried the voice from the other side. apperently, he had called a chinese restaurant.  
"Yes, we do." she simply replied. "Are you gonna order that?"  
"Yes," Tommy replied, shushing his friends. "And can I order that with extra poo?" he immedently hung up and his pals started to burst out laughing.

"Oh, my god, Tommy!" Zoe managed to huff out. "I can't believe that!"  
Koji started to stand up, still chuckling. "A little cliché, but it was still funny."  
Tommy glared at him. "What? you think you can do better?" he had the phone in front of Koji.  
"I give at it." Koji snatched the phone and began dialing with one hand as he pulled out a tape recorder.

"Hello? This is Cityplace. How can I help you."  
"Thank god! please, I need to speak with your toy store." Koji put on a good act.  
"Please hold."  
"Hurry, it's an emergency!" Koji almost sounded like he was being attacked.

Almost immedently, a middle aged woman came on the other line

"Hello?" she said, a bit of anger in her voice.  
"Is this the toy store in Cityplace?"  
"Yes, it is."  
"Thank you, I have an emergency. I'm calling about a Furby."  
"I'm sorry, we don't have any at the moment."  
"I'm not calling cause I need a Furby, I'm calling because I have a defective Furby launching out violent words at me." At this point, the other warriors had left the room to keep her from gettng suspicious. "I bought this Furby a few days ago from your store for my 7 year old brother, Kouichi(A/N: Shut up, Kouichi fans. it's all part of the joke.). He weighs about 400 pounds and I promised that I would get a Furby if he dropped 20 pounds by his birthday. He's come from 500 pounds."  
"Okay, young man."  
"I'm gonna put the phone next to the Furby so you can hear what it's been saying for the past 2 days." He nears the tape recorder by the phone and press the play button  
"Listen here, Brat. ...KRRRZZT... I'll kill you! ...KRRR, he he he." the recording repeated and Koji could hear the others laugh there asses off.  
Koji hit the pause button to continue talking. "Did you hear that?"  
"Yes I did."  
"I can't believe a Furby would say that!"  
"Can you-?"  
"Wait, it's talking again" he hit the play button again  
"Oooooooooooooh... eat me!" he paused the tape again  
"Why would a Furby say those things?" The woman asked  
"I don't know, but it just used profanity!" Koji stated. "What's going on? I think I may have to call a lawyer." he hit the play button again.  
"I'm going to kill you mommy with an ax!" paused it again.  
"You're not gonna hurt my mother!" Koji shouted to nothing in particular.  
"Are you shouting at a toy?"  
"You would do the same if it threatened to kill your mom. What crap are you selling?"  
"Where are you calling from?"  
"It's talking again" hits play.  
"Shut the hell up, Jackass!"  
"Why don't you?"  
"I smoke crack!" pause.  
"Let me speak to your manager. I want to talk to him now."  
"Alright, one minute."

A fairly bass voice came on. "Hello?"  
"Is this the manager?"  
"Yes it is." the manager said.  
"Is this a decision making manager, or a patsy for the higher ups?"  
"Please, let me help the best I can." Koji hit play.  
"RAAAAHH...AAAHHHRRR..." This recording repeats over and over.  
"It's making exorcist noises now, hold on. let me shake it a little and see if I can get it to talk." a shaking noise can be heard from the tape recorder.  
"You're a little whore. he he he..." The recording was paused.  
"Did you hear that?" Koji asked, shocked.  
"Are you absolutely sure that's a furby doll?"  
"Yes, and it just called me a whore! Wait, it's talking again"  
"You smell like a camel's ass! ooh-ooh-oh-oh.  
"I will burn your circuity if you don't shut up!"  
"Are you..."  
"Die, die, DIE!"  
"Should I call the police about this furby?"  
"I will spit acid in your eyes and blind you."  
"I wouldn't know what to do."  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT To do! I think i'm gonna call the bomb disposal unit, and have them take this thing away!"  
"I have a gun, i'm going to shoot you know. he he he he hehehe!"  
"Quit threating me."  
"Young man, I-"  
"It's got a gun!" Koji hits the play button and gunshots and screams can be heard.

Koji pretends to fall onto the floor and hangs up as the others walk in, trying to keep from laughing until they close the door. when they did, they all fell to the floor, including Koji, and laughed for 30 minutes

"I...can't breath!" Takuya barely managed to huff out before collapsing.  
"Kouichi, I'm sorry for dragging you into it." Koji aplogized to his brother.  
"It's was all too funny for me to mind." Kouichi then put a hand on the phone. "But let me try..."

MK25:How do you like this.  
Grady:That was pretty funny.  
MK25:Did I tell ya, or did I tell ya?  
Grady:Dude, I want to see the next chapter!  
MK25:R&R, then. I'm still working on my tLoD fic, I just got a bit of writers block. any suggestions must be submited to the tLoD review section or contact me at


	2. Chapter 2

MK25:Welcome back, and prepare for another weird prank call, starring Kouichi!  
Grady:What's in store for us this time?  
MK25:Well, (MK whispers something in Grady's ear)  
Grady:Are you serious! I can't believe you're dragging in-  
MK25:SHUT UP!  
Grady:Well, the disclaimer for this chapter says..

Disclaimer:Digimon, crank yankers, fox news, and ebaumsworld are not mine.

Grady:...that!  
MK25:now, on to the laughs.

Chapter 2:"How do you like the smell?"

Kouichi was getting ready for his turn of prank calling. By this, I mean he was going to and finding a soundboard, but he also demanded that everyone lefted the room.  
Kouichi dialed a number that he found in the phone book and it started to ring.

A man that sounded like he was in his late thirties answered. "Hello? Fox news" the man said.  
Kouichi, with near inhuman speed, clicked one of the phrases on the soundboard "Hello?"  
"Hi." The man replied.  
Kouichi, again, with lightning speed clicked a phrase "How do you like the smell, is it good  
"What?"  
"Does it smell good enough for you in there?"  
"Yeah, it smells fine in here. Who do you want?"  
"Jack the ripper."  
"He doesn't work here, jackass. who is this?"  
"Michael Jackson"

(with the others)

they barely could make out what Kouichi was saying and braced themselves for laughing. They could barely make out "Machael Jackson" and nearly fell off the stairs, which was very close by.

(Back to Kouichi)

The man started right where we left of after being speechless for a few seconds. "Right, Michael Jackson. And I'm the Pope""It's Michael Jackson."  
"Whatever, Michael. What are you calling about?"  
"I see the face of god! I see god!"  
"Alright, Bitch. Why are you calling here?"  
"I can't believe you've never heard of me! I'm a very popular enterainer. When I was your age I had 6 gold records!"  
"Yeah, I'm sure you did, idiot. So, should I just hang up on you, or get to the end of this phone call?"  
"Well, how about this?" The soundboard then started to sing the chorus to the song "Billy Jean".  
"Why the hell are you calling us, we're just a news channel, and this is the assignment desk. So, who do you want?"  
"Can I stay with you tonight?"  
"The hell...hell no!"  
"What's wrong with sharing your bed? I can't sleep at night."  
"There are very many reasons why. One, I don't know you. Two, you're a child molester. Shall I continue?"  
"That I'm not! It's people with a dirty mind that think that."  
"Oh. Well then, what do you call it?"  
"My mind doesn't work that way. Just because it's in print dosen't mean it's gossip. I'm not going to do anything sexual to a child."  
"Whatever! your a child raper and you know it. I'll never let your ass in my house."  
"I, um...hmmmm."  
"See, my frickin' point exactly, you dirty motherfucking pedophile."  
"A pedophile? That I'm not! you'd be amazed how often I hear that. No, that's wrong!"  
"Well, so is sleeping with children,sicko! why do you sleep with them?"  
"When I see children, I see the clean sex. That's why I love them so much. I am going to do anything sexual to a child, In a pure, loving, fun way. Give 'em hot milk, cookies, handcuffs, elephants and giraffes and crocodiles and tigers and lions, Peter pan, bumper-to-bumper, I could do something like that."  
"Yeah, you filthy pedophile. go call a day-care center or something rather than us. Shit!"  
"No, I'm afraid not."  
"Well, what's the reason raping was found at your little neverland rape house?"  
"I'm not aloud to talk about it."  
"That's all to typical of an excuse."  
"My children sleep with other people all the time. That's how we were raised!"  
"Well, you ain't sleeping with my kids, so fuck off."  
"One time, I asked to use the restroom, and it stuck so bad! there was doo-doo and feces thrown all over the walls. I was outraged!"  
"Listen, I'll make it real simple. keep calling me, and I'll call the cops. Come down here, I'll rip your boys off if you have any left and shove them down your throat, hows that?"  
"I would never hurt a child. I've helped, many, many, many children, thousands of kids, Sick children, busloads of kids!"  
"Oh, so having sex with little kids is what you call 'helping them'?"  
"For sex! they enjoy it. that's what I see. I would slit my wrist first, I love them so much!"  
"Your an idiot. quit calling me, jackass."

The man on the other line hung up and Kouichi hung up shortly after and everyone came back in. when everyone was in, everyone started to laugh till they cried.

"Kouichi," Zoe started, still chuckling. "I can't believe you went there."  
"I know, Zoe!" Tommy said. "I may not have understood it all, but it still was funny."  
Koji managed to regain himself enough to say "Don't ever tell anyone about the stuff we did today, okay Tommy?"  
"You bet!"  
Then, Zoe, J.P., Takuya shot a glance at each other and then the phone. They all made a mad dive for it and Zoe ended up victorious. "Yay! My turn!"

Grady:And so ends this chapter. MK, I can not believe that you brought Micheal Jackson into this.  
MK25:I know that there are Micheal Jackson fans out there-  
Grady:and you know who you are.  
MK25:But, this was just a joke. and I know you people can take a joke if-  
Grady:Don't say it! just listen to the music and shut up.  
MK25:Yay! FF6 battle!  
Grady:For those who don't speak gamer, he said "Final fantasy 3 battle music" and we will get back with another chapter soon, I hope.  
MK25:'Cause school starts in 3 or 4 days!


	3. Chapter 3

MK25:w00tness, finally have an idea for this.  
Grady:didn't you say that you had an idea for this in tLoD?  
MK25:I thought I did, but then I lost it.  
Grady:so, this is Digi-cranked, in case you haven't figured it out.  
MK25:now, I sooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooo-ooooooooooo damn sorry it took me about 2 weeks to get and idea and write it down.  
Grady:whatever, on with the fic!  
MK25:That's my line!

Chapter 3:'Introducing...'(I ain't gonna spoil it)

Zoe was zipping trough the white pages. She stopped at a random number and dialed it. The other left the room, and after about 2.5 rings, a teenage boy answered."Yo!" He said, probably expecting a friend.  
"Hello young sir, are you tired of your toaster?" Zoe asked the boy, laughes being heard through the wall.  
Luckily for Zoe, the boy had not heard it. He just had one eyebrow raised as if someone did something wierd or stupid(a/n: you know, Oo), but replied "Sure, it is an old toaster. Who the hell is this."  
"That's not important currently. now, where was I? Ah yes! Burnt toast, uneven toast, it's just to much hassle, isn't it?"  
"Sure, whatever."  
"Well, you can say good bye to those old toasters and say hello to the new age of Toast! Introducing, the new, Intelli-Toast!"

We can see the others just bawling, literally. The others are on there sides, curled into little balls, and crying while laughing.  
"I can't believe what she just said!" Takuya managed to get himself together enough to say it. It wasn't as easy for the others.

"Alright, who the fuck is this! I ain't paying 8 dead presidents a minute to get prank calls!"

"8 what?"  
"I ain't paying 8 bucks a minute to listen to this shit!"  
"But, young sir, at least hear out my cause!"  
"Fine!" the boy shouted into the phone, then proceeded to mutter "I need a good laugh anyway."  
"Now, our team of scientist have been researching and can now harness the 'Internet' to cook your toast!"  
"Skip the brands and just tell me more about this crap." 'This bitch is gonna die when I find her.'

"Also, all our Intelli-Toast systems comes with a toast cam with XML to put you in complete control of the toasting procedure! Now you can toast anywhere you want! And, If you order now, you'll get into our prefered members club!"  
"You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna hang up, and get an apple. If you call me again, I will Star 69 your ass and call the cops!"  
"But wait--"

The teen hung up on Zoe and the other warriors came in and they all had a good laugh about it. But know for the decision. Would J.P. go next or Takuya?  
"How should we settle this, J.P.?" Takuya said, acting as if he was waiting for the right moment.  
J.P. didn't get a clue off of Takuya and rambled on about possible choice until Takuya said "My turn. You're so easy, J.P."  
J.P. looked defeated. He would have to wait.

MK25:Or does he? MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Grady:You need to lay off the soda!  
MK25:So I have...2, 3, 5...7 cans in my room! I don't have a problem!  
Grady:Whatever! Anyways, Soda boy(MK:BITCH!) over here would like to say sorry that it took so long to update, that it was too short, and/or wasn't as funny as the first two chapters.  
MK25:Now can I go back to my soda cluttered, game playing, Fanfiction writing life?  
Grady:Random moment?  
MK25:Random moment.  
Grady:A 12-year old that's sugar-high? I can't believe it.


	4. Chapter 4

MK25:Damnit! You are soooooo-oooooooooooo-oooooooooooooo lucky you don't get in school till the 30th, BlackLily13!Grady:BlackLily still has a good amount of summer. It sucks!  
MK25:UGH! Talkin' 'bout it only makes it worse. This is Digi-Cranked, and it's Takuya's turn for all you Taky fans.  
Grady:What's coming up?  
MK25:I don't know. I'll probably make it up as I go.  
Grady:Is it the prank call about spiders and the pol-lice, or the the dude that wont shut up and the pol-lice?  
MK25:You ain't a gangsta, so don't talk like one  
Grady:whatever, ON WITH IT!  
MK25:LIGHTS, KEYBOARD, **_ACTION!_**  
Grady:Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo...kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Chapter four: "Do you want a kid, but not sure whether to take the leap or not?" (a/n:Grady:That teacher's nuts! And your using one of his cracks? MK25:You'll be laughing after this.)

Seeing inspiration in Zoe's call, He found a number with two people that sounded like a man and woman's name in the first name but the same last name. 'I'll luck out if this is a couple and not brother and sister.' Takuya thought as he dialed. He heard a young woman that sounded like she was about 19 or so answered with "Hello?"  
Takuya, trying his best to disguise his voice, replied with "Hello. Are you in a engagement or recently married?"  
"Yes, but why do you want to know?"  
Takuya thought 'Thank you, god!' as he began to say "Okay then, one last question. Are you thinking or having a kid but not sure whether to take that leap or not?"  
"No, but, now you're making me think about having a kid for the first time."  
"Well then, there is a new program for people like you."  
"Yeah..."  
"It's called rent-a-kid."

By now this girl was laughing her ass of as she tried to call for her love(a/n:or husband/to-be husband. whichever you prefer).After about 3 dozen or so footsteps(don't ask how they where loud enough.), A man with an alto voice came on the other line. "I see you managed to give my lovely fiancee a chuckle or five. Can I help you?"  
"Yes, I asked your girlfriend a couple of questions, should I repeat them to you or get to the point?"  
"Just get to it."  
"Well, with our program, Rent-a-kid, we allow people to rent kids to see if there ready for children or not. Shall I explain the system?"  
"Go ahead! If it made my wife laugh, I gotta hear it."  
"Okay then. We start the program with a three-month-old baby for three months. After that period of time, we will record your thought of the now six-month-old and we switch from the baby too a 14-year-old for the same amount of time. After that period of time, we record your thoughts on the teenager and see whether your ready for the commitment of children."  
The male was nearly cackling at this point in time. "Oh, my god... this is so stupid." he said, slurring like he had tipped back one too many shots of the good old spirits(a/n: whiskey, rum, vodka, the list goes on. Then again, there's just the good old-fashioned beer).  
"Have you been drinking while I was explaining?"  
"No, this is just too damn funny. Where are those fucking..." He said, sounds of pills being knocked down from a medicene cabinet.  
"Now, sir, just calm down and I can tell the rates."

The woman snatched the phone out of his hand and took over from here. but not before screaming "You need to go see someone about your tequila problem." She then turned the phone and said "I'm so sorry, he gets hysterical after five or six margaritas."  
Not completely understanding, he just said "It's fine, it's fine. But do I need to repeat the explaination?""No, not at all! I managed to overhear it."  
'Jeez! What, do these people read minds or something?' "Shall I explain the rates?"  
"Yes, you shall." 'I'm gonna star69 his punk ass when this is over.'  
"Now, the rates for our company is for the first three months, it's only $7.50. The last three months, though, are $10"  
"A month or total?"  
"Total, and we don't expect payment until you return the child."  
"Okay, then. Is there anything else?"  
"Nothing else that my boss told me to say... Wait, the address can be found on our website, I'll go-Ahh!" She noticed her Fiancee passed out on the ground. "I'll go on." she whispered.  
They both then hung up and Takuya hit #58, wanting to avoid a lawsuit with his family involved.

As the others walked in and closed the door, Koichi said inbetween chuckles "I still can't believe the name you thought of is Rent-a-kid."  
"What! It's made her them both laugh!"  
"What if she tries to sue you?" Tommy inquiried the host  
"I #58'ed her, so unless she know the star#47 trick, she ain't comin' through."  
J.P. then snacthed the phone and proceeded to near-scream "YAY! My turn!"

MK25:For a second, I thought I forgot Koichi. But I remembered the MJ call.  
Grady:This dude got his call from a joke in his algebra class.  
MK25:Mr. Navetta may be nuts, but he could be a good comedian.  
Grady:Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiight. (Gets whacked by MK) What'd I do?  
MK25:I hate that, and you know it.  
Grady:Just listen to the forest temple, and let your problems soothe away.  
MK25:I hate the damn forest temple. Fucking Wallmasters!  
Grady:Then...(changes to fountain of dreams song from SSBM), listen to the Fountain and let your problems soothe away.  
MK25:Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  
Grady:Yeah, ummmm. Well be back sometime soon. Now, excuse me while I try to get him away(Shakes MK, who is staring at the screen in awe).


End file.
